SWEET NOTHINGS ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF CRAP .

&& I've never wanted this .
Yes , i cant feel a thing anymore .
Your love , care and concern. Nothing .
Fuck this feeling okays , you'll never understand how i feel .
First it was my friends , then my parents , now this .

They claimed i smoked , like what the fuck la , since when .
Nothing want to find thing and scold .
So now i know what of person i am in their eyes .
It hurts okay , it really does .
And i cried my eyes swollen for 2 whole hours and couldnt get to sleep , damn it .

Its been 7 days now , and nothing .
In school , all i could do was to fake that smile , those laughters to hide the pain .
You may not believe it , but im serious .
I often blame myself why i even doubt you in the first place .
Is it me , or is it the things that you said , the things that you do , how you treat me and her differently, that makes this stupid trust of mine fade ?
Idk , idk what has happened , why things change all of a sudden , why is it that we no longer talk at all ?
It hurts to know that your own boyf doesnt even bother about you , and he just ignores for for one fucking long week .
One single sms is enough to make me happy like shit okays .
I know you're having your prelims now , stress is building up and stuff ,
You have no time for me , but at least dont avoid me la .
If IM the one in the way of your studies , your life , your feelings for her ,
I'll back out . Even if it hurts me so much to .
Maybe im just lying to myself all these while , lying to myself that i still stand a chance ?
I dont want to know what has happened , i dont want to know what you've said , what you've done to her .
I know things have changed , and it aint for the better .
Im going to ignore everything , and still look ahead [:

Told my confidante how i felt and everything , and he gave me advices from his point of view . Thanks yo :3
"It aint worth suffering on your own over someone , there are others out there who will make your life better , but it justs takes time to find that person ."
Impactful okays ;O
Right now , all i want to do is to concentrate on my studies and do well for my eoys .
I wont think of all these ,
I wont think about how others feel about me ,
I wont think about whats going to happen .

JAMIE ,
Stop telling yourself that he's the one who would never hurt you ,
Stop telling yourself that things will never change ,
Stop telling yourself that he will never be the one hiding things from you ,
Stop telling yourself that things will change for the better very soon .

Yes , i'll try to cheerup people , dont worry .
I promised you guys , and i wont break it [:
Hopefully .
I wont put my posts in symbols anymore , unless i want to .

Goodbyes .
Dont bother to ask me to update , cuz i wont for the next 3wks unless i feel like doing so [: