One,

I never said you guys were her dogs. If you realised, i did say AS IF. I said that is what i see every recess, i never said you guys ARE. Yes i didnt notice. And tell me why should i. Just like some people also said that i was more childish then ___ . Maybe you can speak for yourself, but how would you know how the rest feels? They can tell you one thing yet they mean it in another way, you'll never know. Things changed, and i've seen how you guys actually bothered. Friday, did you genuinely bother that i was bloody darn sick ? Nobody bothered, and i was having a fucking headache and i just wanted to go home. I slept in self-study class because i wasnt feeling well at all. Seriously, who cared. I dont wanna reason with you, neither do i see a need to find excuses to cover up. I admit , i was at fault. But im not the only one who has to take all the blame. I know you tried to let it go when things happened between me and her. You were stuck in the middle, i know.

[edit] Oh when Danping shouted "she got a fever," dont tell me you never heard. So loud and you never heard? During the meeting, i was already very miserable. Couldnt you tell? Did you expet me to go up to your face and tell you , "im sick, look at me." No right. Ah whatever, let bygones be bygones. I dont wanna bother much anymore. [/edited]

Two,

Do you think i want things to happen this way ? Maybe they were idk. But seriously. What you guys are showing me is the opposite. I know Jean smiled, i wanted to smile back but i dont know what hold me back. I was pissed when i wrote that post. As far as you are concern, i never took you as a dog in my eyes. None of you. If i did, maybe you all would have realised, i wouldnt have mind how you guys actually thought about me. I never said you followed her, I NEVER SAID IT WAS YOU.

As far as Yvonne is concerned, im not that close to her. I know i criticised her in front of everybody, but im not the only person who did that. I ditched her aside? Seriously, you should know who are the ones who are the closest to her, im not. Im just (used to be) part of the clique with her. She's a good friend. Since when did i get all the advantages ? Yeah she might be better off without me. She's better off with you guys. Did i say anything ? You dont know how much stress i have to deal with both mentally and physically. I never said you were taking sides. I NEVER SAID ALL OF YOU GUYS WERE TAKING SIDES. But still i must thankyou for that bit of concern.

Three,

Dont say i didnt appreciate what you guys had did for me. Im grateful, seriously i am. Knowing you guys for so long, i really treasure this friendship. Since kindergarden , its been very long. Okay i cant remember things from far back, so about 2007, i can only recollect that our froup was split. And as far as i can remember, this group has split up so many times i cant even count. Everybody's scarred by this incident. Yes, maybe you did understand what happened between me and her. AND I NEVER SAID I WASNT AT FAULT. IM AT FAULT, FOR LEAVING YOU GUYS WHEN ____ DIDNT COME AND WALKED OFF. IM AT FAULT FOR ALOT OF THINGS. Sorry for making you guys seemed like you werent important. I've made alot of mistakes in the past, but everybody makes mistakes. Im not pushing the blame to anybody, but i just want you guys to know how i felt when you guys left me out in alot of things. Several times, i know you guys were genuinely concerned about me, i've heard. But i didnt say anything about you guys being hypocritical at that time. You cried, but so did i. You dont know how much tears i had shed over these friendships. Maybe you would think im just lying, but many people know about this.

Ask yourselves , did you guys genuinely spared a thought about how i feel? Because i've asked myself countless times, i did. But at that point of time, i could be bothered anymore. I was very pissed and very upset. Sorry if i offended you guys. Im truely sorry.