"Am I suppose to be torn apart, broken hearted in a corner crying?"
I think so.

You're not a failure, not at anything. You don't have to call yourself one. You did nothing wrong. You made the decision yourself after nights of thinking, you can't blame yourself for that. Nobody can be blamed. Even if i do hate you for making that decision, there's nothing i can do now. I can't hate you for leaving me, can i? Even if i do believe, we can't do anything to salvage this now. Find my happiness? It's not as easy as it seems. Its not as easy as you say. You might be able to, but i can't. And fyi, my blog is already privated. Impact? What impact? What difference would it make, with me or without me in your life? You don't have to apologise for anything. Yes, my heart is shattered and there's nothing you can do. Yes i did, i cried until my eyes were swollen and red for the entire day and i just kept crying. Ignore? Do you honestly think that's the best way for everything? I don't think so. Yes i know words can't be taken back once i've said them. Although i really dislike the way you're treating me now, i guess i will just have to accept it. If that's the way you want things to be, i can't do anything either. Whatever i do now, i lost my chance. Chances won't come knocking three times, will it? I will stay strong, you don't have to worry about me. Yes not for myself, its for everyone else. On the contrary, i doubt i can. Have i given you any happy memories? Idk, i honestly dk. I just want you to stay happy, that as the last thing you could do for me. I no longer hope for anything else anymore. I can tell you now, i've already give up on everything in my life. Including my studies. No matter how hard i studied, i still fail. Fail fail and fail.
i told you before, in my life now, only you and her left. and now you left, and she's getting irritated with me. yeah nobody's left now. you're alright nevertheless. i guess you maade the right choice.

This feeling still feels surreal, even up till now. I miss you.