090909, ^^

Back to reality.
I don't like dreaming now. Once i dream, i see you. And i only find myself waking up and crying the very next morning. Sometimes i wish i never woke up..

I hate myself.
I thought things were okay now.
I thought i'm fine now.
I thought everything was just wishful thinking on my part.
You proved me wrong, countless times. Again and again and again.

How many times of disappointments am i going to face in one lifetime?

Jie, i'm sorry. :\
Even though i told you i would try, i don't think i'm strong enough to be able to.

Last night i found out some things which really really made me 彻底失望 in some people. Including myself, for being such an idiot to believe people and trust people so easily.
The last thing i wanted to find out is people lying to me. It's amazing how you even managed to cover up your lie with another one. And you just kept on lying and lying, covering each lie perfectly. How'd you manage to do that? I've no idea, and to be honest i'm at a loss of words too. Speechless, bewildered and stunned. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me? As well as the others you've lied to?
-----
Thanks to you, my tears started falling all over again. Yes, crying does nothing. But at least crying makes me feel better, doesn't it? Being truthful, is that so hard? Being truthful to YOURSELF, is it even harder? Ask your heart, ask your mind, ask yourself. Right now, at this instant, what exactly am i to you? I doubt you know it yourself either. I want to pull myself away from you, far far away. I can't, no matter how hard i tried. I really want to believe i'm right to trust you, to believe you, even at this moment. Prove me right, can you?
I feel so tired waiting for you time and time again. Its not only tired, its painful too.
-----
Yes i know the world don't revolve around me, (though i wish it does, who doesn't wish so too?) so you don't have to listen to what i'm saying. But spare a thought for the people around you who truly cares. Don't say it's not worth it, 'cause you never know. Not even yourself.

Current song stuck in my head ; One Minute One Second - Epik High.
The english lyrics are meaningful,

Something happy.
Last night's video conference with Venus was hilarious. In the beginning, Venus couldn't find her mic -.- Until like half an hour later, she fixed her mic. HERSELF. Lmaoz. Chatted and stuff, she played with effects and i laughed like some madwoman rolling all over the floor -.- Jean joined in later, and we keep laughing at her nightgown :x PANDA ! So cute, LOL. Play until super hilarious. ^^

Venus, today again okay ! :D :D :D