Sometimes, it's better to hide inside your little world, apart from all the complications in the outside world, isn't it?

I know my posts are wordy. Well, it beats having to read nothing at all, right ? Oh whatever.

I'm tired. Really darn tired.
I'm under tremendous stress, but hey, who bothers?
I don't need someone who claims they will be there when troubles arises, and yet, they never were. Not even once.
What's it like to feel genuinely cared for? I haven't had the slightest idea, not even a single bit.
It gets even more tiring when i have to act like i'm alright, i'm better now. I don't know how long am i going to keep up with the pretence before i eventually fall. Faking the smiles and laughters, i'm trying so damn hard to get my own life back.
I don't even have to play the victim, and make others pity me. Unless you know what it's like to feel alone all the time, you would never understand the sheer loneliness i feel everyday. I'm right there next to you, yet i feel so far away.

I can't cope with studies, i can't even manage my life well. I dread going home after school everyday. I quarrel with parents the moment they get home.
I don't even have the pathetic right to speak my own opinions.
I was merely telling you how i felt , and you labelled it as 'talking back'.
Alright then, don't blame me for not replying when you talk to me. Why? Because everything i say would only be regarded as bullshit to you.

This is the last time i'm ever going to mention you. I've decided to cut you out from my life. Once and for all. After clearing all your messages, i'm more determined to get you out of my life. I didn't wish to resort to this, but after what you told me about lying, i've had enough of it. If it was my sensitivity that drove you to lying, have you thought about who made me into someone who's darn sensitive of even the slightest thing? Now, i'm not the me i was before. I became someone even i myself don't even know. Those feelings i once had, have all ceased to exist now. If forgetting was as easy as you said, wouldn't it be great? A white lie, no matter how you put it, is still a lie. The scar you left is permanent. But i'm trying hard to cover it up. Lying is never an option to choose. I don't need to taste the feeling of getting hurt a third time to realise what i should do. I've learnt to let go of my hatred towards people. I do bear grudges, but not for long. After what i've gone through, it's a lesson learnt. At the very least, i don't cry anymore.

In these 15 years, i've lost many things. Too many things to explain, too many things left unspoken. A million regrets, and all the gazillion lies people have told me. I abhor all these, but what can i do? 拿得起就要放得下。I've come to realise, its best to cherish what you have, before it's gone.

Friend, what exactly happened to us? This isn't you. It never was. Between us, all that's left is an explicably deafening silence. It never was just an intuition of mine, it's real. What i'm seeing now, is just you drifting far far away from me. Everything's so distant.

Through the period of exams. I screwed up my Maths paper 1. Sigh. 25 marks blank. Good job, Jamie. -bangs wall- Geography paper was okay, considering the amount of time i spent on studying it. I hope i pass, i wanna pass Combined Humanities desperately. 6 papers down, 7 papers to go. I love study groups, its productive. ^^ Jonas, Sookwai, Venus and Krismine, let's work hard for our remaining papers aye. They're awesome people to the max. ^^

I can't wait for exams to be over. Outings, shopping trips, and more ^^v I need more moneyyyyyyyyyy, save more save more $.$ (laughsz)

Holidays are gonna suck. Foundation programme from 2nd November to the 13th, like any ordinary school day. Sadded. :( I've been thinking too much lately, gotta find some time to relax and unwind after exams.

Dwarfdwarf. ;)