"I used to smile when I told people you were mine, but now I can't even smile and say your name at the same time."

I kept telling myself that i'm fine. I'm alright. I'm happy. My life will go on as it is. But, the truth is.. i can't do it. I can't even bring myself to do it. Yes i'm pathetic. I'm hopeless. Go ahead and hurl your comments at me whatsoever, i don't give a damn about anything anymore. You can choose to skip this post. Really. I don't want people to go around saying, "oh she's just trying to get attention." I don't see the point in doing stupid actions like those, seriously.

Many people had walked into my life, and left. Some drifted far apart, some merely just became strangers. Walking past each other as though they've never been a part of your life. Maybe this is just how life is. People don't stay in one spot forever, they move on. And sometimes, we can't help it. Time stops for no one.

Its not the breakup that hurt. It was the very fact that you said this, "Maybe this is all a big mistake. We should never have started." The moment i read this, i burst into tears. You never expect someone who was that important to you to say that to you. And you were the very first. I kept thinking. Was it because of me, that this relationship ended this way. Or was it because, we just really didn't have the so-called 'chemistry'. I pick the latter. I don't even know if i should smile or cry whenever i see you. I feel so tangled up inside. As if a battle is going on in my heart. I'm not taking things easy. Take that day for example, so close yet so far. You're right there, and yet i can't even bring myself to look at you. It sucks. I don't even know why i can't. I really felt damn messed up that day. To the extent that i literally went crazy, i spammed post-its with 'I♥U' and gave it to many people. And there are still some in my foolscap pad now too. Gah. I'm obsessed with post-its, Venus is the witness to my crime. Awww. Anywayyyyyyy, back to topic. (i need to stop sidetracking.)

When was the last time you really asked yourself, what was it that you really wanted?

Maybe its really like what Krismine said, or maybe its just like what the others had said. I want to believe its the first option. How i wish it was true. Right now, i'm still wondering if what Krismine said was true, since i've never witnessed it myself, and don't want to.. Please tell me its true. ):

I'll blog about my first week of school + Poly open houses tomorrow. If i have the time. <:

"In a quarrel/conflict, there'll have to be one who gives in to end it. Be stubborn and you won't resolve anything, and when you want to resolve it, you'll realise its long gone and regrets will be too late by then."