Alone.

No matter what I do, I just can't get over my own emotions. Half the time, I'm just fighting a worthless battle in my heart. I'm done smiling even when I'm upset, when I have so much to say yet faced with such hesitation.

One word : Exasperated.

I'm still left wondering why we aren't talking anymore. It feels so awkward, and so sad. I tried taking the initiative to start the conversation, but it always ended with a cold response. And suddenly, things will start to get better, and we're friends again. What's wrong with us? 10 years of friendship, do we really have to walk down that path that ends everything? I'm done trying, I'm done pretending that I don't care. I'm not oblivious to such changes, its only whether I choose to do anything about it.

School's been tiring and stressful although common tests are over. I have dark circles around my eyes now, and I'm so afraid it might get worse if this continues. Sad. Anyway. I passed all my common tests except English. And Social Studies, I've yet to get the results back. I failed English for the first time in 4 years. 11/25. So demoralized to do anything after getting back the results. Sigh.

On a brighter note, I passed my Maths and surprisingly, POA. <: Considering the fact that I blanked out when I saw the paper, and anyhow did it. Got 6 marks out of 9 on the first question which I really didn't know how to do. Amazing. But it doesn't mean that I don't need to study too, ought to get that mindset that I am that lucky everytime outta my head.

English - 11/25.
Chemistry - 21/25.
Physics - 14/25. (it pulled my comb. science marks downnnnnnnnn. sad face.)
POA - 22.5/40.
Maths - 21/40.

Most barely passed. My report card is gonna suck, other than my Combined Science. My Chinese dropped to a B ! Ohmygoddd, booooooo. ):

Shall update on Outing (3/3/10) and Literature TKAM play (4/3/10) tomorrow. I'm tired now, with swollen and itchy eyes, and having to wake up at 8 to rush to school for cheer practice at 9. I'm gonna collapse, very very soon.

Would you be there when I fall?