O's officially over on Friday. Grad Night next Friday. Shopping trip on Saturday and Tuesday. Juan's exams ending next Monday. Red Camp on 22nd to 24th. I'm packed this coming few weeks. I should be happy. WHY AM I NOT HAPPY.

And, I want a job, badly. Gee. But I always fail at interviews. Shag.

I don't really want to talk about anything at the moment. Everything's going haywired. Oh wait, my life has always been this eventful, hasn't it? No one to blame but myself. :) But I don't believe, no one has ever not made a mistake, forgotten a promise, broke a promise, said things you never meant, and said things you wished you never said. True enough, everyone errs once in a while.

So how could you just condemn one for a mistake made?

I've been selfish, petty, unreasonable, annoying, and all the things people always said about me. (Yes its not that I don't know, I kept quiet) I can say things at the wrong time, and I wouldn't even know I had offended anyone unless someone tells me about it. This is my fault. I apologise. But hey, does that constitute to telling someone else how much of a B* I am? You hate me, dislike, anything, TELL ME. I wouldn't know. Because, you know what? I trusted you. I don't even know how to talk to you at times. It's just scary. I have to think of all the possibilities.

I'm a bitch, I know. You don't have to remind me.

Lets put an analogy. Its as though I already know the kettle's boiling hot. But despite knowing it, I still want to touch it. And I did, before realising I would only hurt myself.

Its as simple as that.

You all can hate me, dislike me for all I care. These few months hadn't been easy for me. And no, in case you were wondering (or not), I never chose him over you guys. Though it might seem like that case. It took me a lot of courage to messaged you guys. To pass y'all the cards. Because, I really feared that you all wouldn't even bothered about it anyway. I know she's angry, disgusted, what not. But all i can only say now is..

And even though I know, the word 'sorry' has lost its significance over the years, I really mean it.

And you,

You don't know how much I'm disappointed in you. HOW COULD YOU. Eventually, I see no need to convince you about anything. You've already got that sick mindset stuck in your mind, so why should I waste my breath when I know you already had that thought implanted inside? I'm not the kind to fight for myself. Then don't blame me for acting this way.

When will I ever realise? Its back to the small box I live in. :)

Thanks Jeremiah for trying to advise me anyway. Yes, its not the end of the world. I won't be angsty, as I am now.

YES I AM SELF CENTERED. KAYTHXBAI.

My life is officially screwed. Good game.